It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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