Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
