Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
