Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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