4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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