I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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