four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
