dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
