quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
