I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
