Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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