Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
