The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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