For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
