It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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