What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
