I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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