I cannot find my penis.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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