She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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