Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
