Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
