WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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