I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
