But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
