Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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