you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize