Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
