i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
