I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
