its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
