Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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