don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
