i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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