While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
