i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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