i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
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I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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