so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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