I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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