I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
