Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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