He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
