Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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