Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
