I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
