Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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