Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
