I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
