Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
