I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
