Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
