Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
