thus making me awesome and them whores
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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