I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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