I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
