I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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