I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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