i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
