OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The air was thick with penises
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
