i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
