Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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