I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
