Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize