I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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