so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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