i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
