I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
