sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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